Mike Francesa's New App Will Cost The Low Low Price Of $8.99 A MONTH

Every Mongo in the world reading that press release before seeing the $8.99/month and $100/year hammer:

Look, I like Mike Francesa. Damn near may even say I love him like the uncle that drops the hottest of sports takes on your head while the rest of the family laughs with/at him. But that’s a lot of money to spend for something I can get for free on the internet. Well it’s really not a lot of money in the grand scheme of life. But hearing outlandish takes is available pretty much anywhere on the internet for free, along with you know, Mike’s radio show five days a week. Considering I am a grown ass man that treats the Paid Apps section of the App Store is the elephant’s graveyard in The Lion King, I don’t see me buying a Mike Francesa app that costs almost as much as Netflix to see him talk to me.

That being said, I respect the hell out of this price point. True king shit. I imagine the people that made Mike’s app tried to explain to him how nobody likes paying for ANYTHING in the Internet Era and he just kept showing them his ratings books over the last 30 years and the amount of people that proverbially suck his dick everyday. Resumes, longevity, ratings, paychecks, Mink Man. That’s what Mike Francesa does. He didn’t come back from retirement to give away his thoughts during the afternoon drive other than the like 2 months of vacation he would always take. He came back as Digital Zaun, ready to unleash the unfiltered takes about duh kid from Awwbuhn straight to your eyeballs and ear drums no matter what time of night it is.

Actually now that I think about it, I may consider getting this app if Mike is ready to break down news the second it happens. The mental image of Mike being forced to wake up at 1 am, saunter downstairs in a wife beater and boxers to discuss a huge NBA trade that broke while he wipes coal from his eyes would be laugh out loud funny. I can barely keep up with late night sports anymore and I am half his age with only two kids. And if we get Mike Unfiltered (Read: Mike Francesa but with curses) since it’s a paid app, I am definitely all in and will mail Mike a $100 bill right now just for the chance to hear him call the Mets a “fuckinnn disastuh, ughkay?”.

Hit’em with the pose Mikey!